The Crab Fight!

Who me? Cause My Cancer?

2007-05-04T14:08:00.000-07:00

If you’re not living in a hole, you’ve heard about The Secret, a book and movie that has been sweeping the country. The contributors were even on Oprah, getting her enthusiastic approval. The book is based on the “Law of Attraction” which, in a nutshell, says that if it’s in your life, you brought it here. That includes cancer. Sorry Oprah, you blew it this time.

Did you cause your cancer? Read Louise Hay, she says so. She offers no proof but her profound understanding of how the world works, but she’s absolutely certain. She has a large band of followers that totally agree with her. Certainly The Secret folks would agree with her. Actually I wish it were that easy. If you can think it in, you can think it out. The ovarian cancer my doctors were certain was there was not cancer when the surgery was done. Does that mean I thought it in and out? Maybe, but maybe not. How could I be certain either way/

This approach can be ok if you can take the possibility in and use it to change how you look at things and how you do your relationships. Whether you believe in The Secret or not, you’re probably doing this anyway. But what if what you need to learn is to be more accessible to your own feelings like anger, fear and sadness? The only way to do feelings is to do them first hand, not through someone else or from afar. That means that, for at least a while, you dwell in those feelings. Will that make the cancer spread because what you think you get more of?

Balderdash! The true recipe for disaster is stuffing your feelings and pretending they don’t exist. Then you have to distract yourself from what’s real in your life through eating dysfunctionally, workaholism, drugs and alcohol, road rage.

Last week I was counseling with yet another person who was terrified that she was spreading her cancer because she couldn’t help being afraid. The Secret folks may be helping a few people, god knows they’re raking in the dough, but they are doing a tremendous disservice to people like the client above. One thing people with cancer don’t need is something else to be worried and ashamed about!

All the best,

Judith Frost, MSW
www.cancer-coach.com

Post Traumatic Stress in Cancer Part II Tips

2007-05-02T17:13:00.000-07:00

Remember, you're not crazy when you experience Post Traumatic Stress from having cancer or cancer treatment, any more than you are if you experience PTSD from rape or war trauma. You're experiencing an normal response to an abnormal event.

Seven tips to help you feel better:

1. Engage all of your senses in anchoring you in the here and now. Play your favorite music, get a regular massage, get out in the sunshine. Seek safe physical contact such as hugs and hand holding. Create a self-talk routine in which you talk to yourself with gentle reassurance that you are safe today.

2. Walk, run, play tennis or go to the gym. Exercise releases endorphins (the feel good chemicals) in your body. It also increases the flow of oxygen throughout your body, which increase your sense of well-being and control.

3. Eat well, keep your body well hydrated. Take time to breathe deeply and center, reminding yourself of today’s date and where you are.

4. Limit the amount of violent TV you watch, or violent video games you play. These things amp you up with the same kinds of chemicals that flowed during the trauma. The idea is to process those chemicals, not add more to them.

5. Avoid alcohol and illegal drugs. While it may feel like they soothe you, they will disturb the processing the brain does during sleep. If you need help sleeping, practice sound sleep hygiene techniques or some energy techniques to help you get good rest, or talk to your physician.

5. Keep a gratitude journal, especially at night before you go to bed, and in the morning before you start your day. Write down at least three things you’re grateful for that day and why. Focus on these things for a few minutes before you go to sleep or start your day.

6. Be active rather than doing the couch potato thing. Even if you don’t feel like you have the energy, get up and do something constructive that takes action in a positive direction. Even small things will move you forward.

7. Learn some easy Energy Psychology techniques, like EFT, to soothe the anxiety and calm your body. Seek the help of an Energy Therapist or trusted friend to help you if you need.

Remember, what you’re experiencing is a normal response to an abnormal event.

All the best,
Judith frost, MSW
www.cancer-coach.com

Post Traumatic Stress in Cancer

2007-05-02T17:10:00.000-07:00

People experiencing Post Traumatic Stress due to one or more traumatic events, like having cancer, often feel like they’re crazy or weak because they “can’t get over it.” What we now know about trauma is that it’s less an emotional reaction than it is a physical one, even though its biggest symptoms are panic, anxiety and depression. What happens during the traumatic even is that all the systems in your body went into fight, flight or freeze mode, and your body and brain released a huge number of chemicals to help you be more alert and survive.

Sometimes, though, those chemicals interfere with the normal processing of events that the brain generally does on a daily basis. So the traumatic event doesn’t go to the back of your mind like the time you stubbed your toe did. The traumatic events stay “stuck” in the front of your brain, causing you to relive the images, smells, sounds that happened during the event. Anything can trigger that reliving, and panic attacks, even anger and rage attacks may happen as a result. The body and brain believe that you are actually living through it all over again and you’re not safe anywhere.

What we now know is that you were and are acting normally in response to an abnormal event. The events of war, rape, assault and other traumas are not normal events, but your brain and body responded in a totally normal way to protect you, but that now the events are frozen in your immediate recall memory. Post Traumatic Stress is a normal chemical and physical response to abnormal events.

Research shows that Post Traumatic Stress will slowly resolve for most people (as many as 85%) over time. In other cases, especially if you experienced physical injury as a result of the trauma, you may need professional help to recover fully.

Next time I'll give you some tips for dealing with Post Traumatic Stress.

All the best,
Judith Frost, MSW
www.cancer-coach.com

Fighting Cancer: People always think cancer means death!

2006-08-01T11:58:00.000-07:00

It happened again! Someone wanted to give me to help her mom with an adjustment problem, and said "I thought of you and i know you do just hospice and death, but i wonder if you would be able to help out my mom..." The Cancer Coach. Must be death and dying because it's cancer related. Balderdash!

I don't help people die, I help people with cancer live! Live to the very best they can, whether it's a week or a hundred more years. But people always think it's about dying. I guess, if you look at it existentially, it is about dying, because everything after birth is heading us toward our dying. But it's not necessarily about dying of cancer.

One of the fundamental problems about coping with a diagnosis of cancer, is the absolute, elemental terror it strikes in people's hearts. It's as if you're tied to a railroad track and hear the not-so-distant whistle of the train. That's how most people respond and why there's so often a rush to treatment.

I'm working on how to help people move through that terror swiftly into a calmer, more rational state of mind. More on that later...it's a work in progress for sure!

All the best,
Judith Frost, MSW
The Cancer Coach
www.cancer-coach.com

Fighting Cancer: Getting Through Chemo

2006-07-13T21:54:00.000-07:00

At the Cancer as a Turning Point Conference, I was reminded that, for many people, just surviving to the end of their chemotherapy course is a fight in itself. A young woman, Wendy, approached Dr. Jeremy Geffen, our keynote speaker, and asked him about the chemo she was on. She explained, at the point of tears, how awful it was for her. Dr. Geffen was very kind, listened to her story and said that it sounded like the chemo she’s on could make a big difference for her outcome. He encouraged Wendy to do whatever she needed to do to finish the course. Wendy shook her head and said she really didn’t think she could do it.
About one-third of people who start a chemotherapy regimen don’t finish because of the unacceptable side effects. One-third! Assuming that the chemo will actually add time to their lives, that’s a huge statement of how hard it really can be for some people.

I met an Oncology nurse a few years ago who said, "that nausea stuff’s a thing of the past with the new drugs (Zofran, etc). If I’m doing my job right, there is no nausea!" A bold statement indeed. Based on the number of people I see who still have fairly severe nausea and vomiting with their chemo, I think she may have been too enthusiastic. Still, it’s easier now for some than it used to be.

But putting that aside, it’s often the fatigue that really wears people down. When that sets it, you can start feeling pretty hopeless. A lot of people are really gung ho in the beginning and, tho they’re scared, they believe they’ll do anything to survive. Half way through, that all feels very far away.

It’s better to plan ahead if you can. Get your toolbox filled and start practicing those things that you can. Here are some of the top things you will need.

1. Do enough research to certain down to your bones that this particular therapy combination represents your very best chance of long term survival. If you don’t believe it down to your bones, don’t start it. Check out my special report "How to Choose Cancer Treatment" available for Free on my website

2. Gather your support system. Choose someone to be in charge of keeping on-going support happening. You’ll need someone to drive you to and from treatment, people to make meals, vacuum and watch the kids. You may be able to do those things now, but later might be too much. Look at what your needs might be and ask now. Don’t forget to be sure there’s someone whose shoulder you can cry on, who will listen to your pain and be with you during it (usually not a family member or spouse—they’re got their own issues with your illness).

3. Start getting massage, acupuncture, energy work, guided imagery and coaching or counseling. Don’t wait until things are unbearable. Using these early on can help things from becoming unbearable!

There are other tools, but these are the top three for helping you finish your chemo regimen.

All the best,
Judith Frost, MSW
The Cancer Coach
www.cancer-coach.com

Fighting Cancer: Using the Resources

2006-07-10T06:17:00.000-07:00

I am moved and humbled after spending this weekend at the Cancer as a Turning Point conference in Seattle. The speakers and performers were incredible, all having been touched by cancer, many having survived monumental struggles for life. It was awestriking.

How do people do it? We all talk about supporting our troops in Iraq, hang yellow ribbons, stage marches and welcome-ins for those returning. Their courage in the face of incredible heat, IEDs, snipers...we all wonder how we could survive. They are visible, in the news every day.

Yet a million people a year in this country go into a terrible place of cancer, have body parts removed, endure toxic "juice" pumping into their bodies, and grapple with the ever-present dark shadow of death. Their tour of duty is often at least a year, sometimes much longer. And there's no guarantee of ultimate success.

This conference is a glorious way of supporting those troops, the cancer troops, their loved ones and health professionals. No one can listen to these stories and not be deeply moved. Cancer is a changing disease, it changes everyone it touches in profound and sometimes surprising ways.

For those who are in the struggle right now, so many people, speakers and participants, offered tremendous hope for the possibilities of life with and through cancer. There were so many people there who had been given six months or a year to live, and were telling about it years after the grim pronouncements. They talked about how hard it was, how scared they were, what it took to survive and rebuild their lives.

For me, there was too much to process in one day. I know what i experienced will continue to change me and will show up on the pages of this blog. For now,

All the best,
Judith Frost, MSW
The Cancer Coach
www.cancer-coach.com

Cancer as a Turning Point

2006-07-07T06:18:00.000-07:00

The "Cancer as a Turning Point" conference is being held in Seattle tomorrow and Sunday. It's a wonderful event, full of information and camaraderie---several hundred people together, sharing an intimate knowledge of cancer. It's hard to describe why it's so moving, but it is. It's a celebration of courage and humanity in the face of a dread enemy. Music, poetry, sadness and joy.

If you're in the Seattle area, come! It's free, at Meany Hall on the UW campus. I'll be shuttling speakers and musicians around on both days, but stop me and say hello. If you can't make Seattle, the San Francisco conference is coming up soon also.

Gotta run. I'm due at the airport to pick up Sista Monica shortly.

All the best,
Judith Frost, MSW
The Cancer Coach
http://www.cancer-coach.com

Fighting Cancer with a Non-Positive Attitude! Part 3

2006-07-04T18:51:00.000-07:00

In my last posting I talked about how the original concept of having positive expectations had morphed into the oppressive version of "positive attitude" we live with today. This fundamental misunderstanding of what a "positive attitude" really is has become gospel in the public mind as necessary for successfully fighting cancer.

Enter the second reason the "positive attitude" in fighting illness has become a national credo. We don’t like feelings. We just don’t like them. They’re messy, sometimes embarrassing when we show them to others. "Men don’t cry." "There’s nothing worse than an angry woman!" "Aren’t you over that yet?" And on and on. So when the "positive attitude" literature began to appear, we just took it and ran with it—in the wrong direction.

As far as I can tell, having a "positive attitude" is displaying a demeanor that makes the fewest people uncomfortable. Since most people are uncomfortable with any overt expression of emotion, the less you show, the more positive your attitude! And, by the way, the more kudos you get for your courage. Add to that the fear that many people have that expressing so-called "negative" emotions causes cancer to grow, and you don’t stand a chance!

Terry just melted when she found out her breast cancer had recurred. " I took to my bed crying for three days! I just couldn’t do anything else. I’m such a coward!" She was dumbfounded when I told her that her response was a normal reaction to an abnormal event. Her family had been distraught because they thought it meant she had given up. Not so! She just needed time to come to grips with the terrible news before she could get up and do what she needed to do.

Not everyone will react the way that Terry did, but many do. Others bury their feelings and try to carry on as usual. But suppressing honest emotion behind a false "positive" front is one of the surest set-ups for depression, inappropriate expression of anger (hurting self, others or property), hopelessness, anxiety attacks and isolation. Other than that, it’s fine!

I remember Jean, who had panic attacks and screaming outbursts for months after her diagnosis of stage 4 colon cancer. Her husband, sons and doctors kept telling her she was going to be fine, and she needed to get control of herself. Her therapist told her she had to get a better attitude or "the cancer will win." As things continued to get worse, her husband finally called me in desperation to "do something with her."

What I did was get copies of her records and test results. Then Jean and I went over them carefully. She asked pointed, intelligent questions and I told her the truth as I understood it. We cried together a little, and talked a long time. She called her oncologist and set up an appointment to talk about treatment options vs palliative care.

Even though she finally knew that she was probably not going to survive this cancer, Jean said she felt calm for the first time in nearly a year. "I knew it was bad all along, but no one would tell me the truth. I felt like I was going crazy, and I was terrified all the time. I can deal with dying. I couldn’t deal with not being able to talk about it."

Jean did not have a single panic attack or screaming outburst from then until her death 16 months later. She had times that she was terribly afraid, she cried to be sure, and she expressed her anger at her life being cut unfairly short. But she never again felt or acted "crazy". Her quality of life improved dramatically as she delved into the meaning of living and dying. Jean spent meaningful time with her friends, her husband and her children. She outlived her doctors’ prognosis by eight months, dying peacefully surrounded by her family.

This scenario happens to a less dramatic degree to thousands of cancer patients and their families every year. But, as Jean's story shows, being able to express your true feelings in a safe and healthy way lessens stress and fear, and increases your overall quality of life. Talking about what’s important with loved ones draws you closer together. It’s not always easy, but it’s enormously meaningful to all. This is what takes real courage, not maintaining a false courage to the world.

There’s one more segment to this chapter. It’s about the "d" word. Why talking about dying is good for your living.

All the best,
Judith Frost, MSW
The Cancer Coach
http://www.cancer-coach.com

Fighting Cancer with a Non-Positive Attitude! Part 2

2006-06-01T20:17:00.000-07:00

Last time I said that the insistence that a "positive attitude" is critical to beating cancer is a form of terrorism against people who are fighting for their lives. This is a tragedy for so many people with cancer and their families! This "positive attitude", as it is commonly understood, isolates people and makes them feel wrong about having the powerful emotions that always accompany cancer. When you can't talk about your grief and fear, as well as your hopes and joys, it's hard to truly connect with loved ones. Everyone concerned tends to feel isolated and lonely, and may not even realize why.

Cancer patients and their families get the message that they're not really fighting the cancer if they're not unfailingly upbeat about beating the disease. Often, when they most need to explore the possibility of dying, patients are told, "don't talk that way! You're going to be fine!" But everyone who gets a diagnosis of cancer thinks about dying. That's not negative, it's not giving up, it's normal! Coming to grips with the reality of death is part of what helps people transcend the cancer experience and find peace.

In my last posting I said that the national obsession with being positive stems from two places. The first is a fundamental misunderstanding of what a positive attitude really is. In 1978, O. Carl and Stephanie Simonton published a book called Getting Well Again: A Step by Step Self-Help Guide to Overcoming Cancer for Patients and Their Families. Carl Simonton is a highly respected Oncologist, and his former wife, Stephanie Matthews Simonton, is a highly respected psychotherapist specializing in helping people with cancer.

In their book, the Simontons described the "Type C cancer personality". While this idea has since been shown by several later studies to be highly flawed, they also theorized that an individual's reactions to stress may contribute to the onset and progress of cancer. They felt their obsevations demonstrated that learning positive expectations, self-awareness and self-care can contribute to survival. In the book, and in their clinic, they teach techniques for relaxation, visualization, goal setting and building an emotional support system.

Getting Well Again was wildly successful and remains so today. It was one of the first popular introductions to the field of mind/body medicine, along with Bernie Siegel's Love, Medicine and Miracles, also published in 1978. These were important in bringing psychological considerations and the mind-body connection into the mainstream of cancer treatment. But their messages of positive expectations somehow turned into something quite unrecognizable, that is our current version of the positive attitude.

Neither the Simontons nor Bernie Siegel advocated suppressing emotions. In fact, the opposite is true. On pages 108-109 of Getting Well Again, it says, "Feelings constantly suppressed become bigger and more powerful, so that the fear of recurrence and death can become overwhelming." And then again on page 109, "we lead patients through a psychological process that helps them identify their feelings and... attitudes toward recurrence and death. The purpose of confronting the possibility openly is to remove it from the realm of forbidden topics and to clarify beliefs." (Italics mine).

So it turns out that even the gurus of the so-called positive attitude actually advocate allowing yourself to be human! Stephanie Simonton, herself, has referred to the positive attitude craze as the "tyranny of the positive attitude". Her work has been twisted to mean that you should totally deny your feelings, never talk about dying, and present a smiling face at all times. Even worse, rather than being just one piece of the picture, people have come to believe that presenting this false front is the most important thing in healing. Under this false belief, people are terrified that when they feel what they genuinely feel, it causes the cancer to grow!

You see why I call it terrorism against people who are fighting for their lives? In my next posting I will talk more about what has actually been helpful to people in fighting cancer, and why many of the techniques taught by the Simontons, and others, are extremely helpful feeling better and healing better.

All the best,
Judith Frost, MSW
The Cancer Coach
http://www.cancer-coach.com

Fighting Cancer with a Non-Positive Attitude!

2006-05-30T19:10:00.000-07:00

The insistence that a positive attitude is critical to “beating” cancer is a form of terrorism against people who are fighting for their lives. Somehow our society believes that getting a diagnosis of cancer should turn you from an average state of mood, or less than average mood, into being a constant cheerleader! “I got cancer! Ra Ra Ra!” If you don’t display this constant blissful state, you’ve got a poor attitude, you’re not fighting the cancer well enough, and you’re probably gonna die. What bunk!

It’s almost universal that getting a diagnosis of cancer (or any other dreaded disease) causes people to get real about their lives in a big hurry. And being real involves having access to a full range of human emotions, not covering them up. Emotions are our natural friends, not our enemies. Yet uncomfortable emotions like fear, anger, grief, sadness are seen in our culture as “feeling sorry for yourself”, or “on the pitty pot” and need to be covered over.

People who courageously display emotions are criticized by friends and family members as being “overly emotional” or “negative”. People who quell those natural feelings to show only their stoic side are commended for their courage. Nobody commends you for your courage when you feel like a lump of Jell-O in the hot sun! Yet each can be a true expression of how you’re genuinely feeling in the moment, and as such, is an act of courage.

The “positive attitude” tyranny is almost a national obsession! I believe it comes from two places. First, there is a fundamental misunderstanding of what constitutes a true positive attitude, and how one achieves it. The second is our national intolerance of emotional expression.

I'll address these twin problems in future postings. For now, just know that it’s helpful, not harmful, to be an authentic, real living person, even with cancer.

All the best,
Judith Frost, MSW
The Cancer Coach
http://www.cancer-coach.com

Fighting Cervical Cancer with a Vaccine!

2006-05-25T15:31:00.000-07:00

How incredibly agonizing it will be for young women who contract cervical or vulvar cancers in the future to know that their parents refused to vaccinate them at a young age because it might cause them to have sex! For people fighting cancer today, the mere thought that a vaccine given in their youth could have saved them this agony, is incredible!

Fighting cancer through a vaccine should not be subject to politics! But, after all, it's been proven that wearing a bicycle helmet causes kids to be more likely to deliberately crash their bikes, right? Insisting that they wear seat belts when learning to drive increases reckless driving behavior, right? We hear a lot about a "culture of life", but it seems to only apply in certain specified situations apparently. A true culture of life would be more concerned about about taking preventive steps to avoid disease, suffering and death, than "sending the wrong message."

The occasion of being vaccinated against cervical cancer can be used by an intelligent, caring parent to have a practical discussion on teenage sex. It can be an opportunity to teach your child the values you cherish. Studies show that the greatest deterrents to a teenager becoming sexually active are two. It's fear of pregnancy and the influence of parents. The fear of getting an STD isn't even on the high end of the list. So being vaccinated against the virus that causes cervical cancer won't affect them one way or another.

For heaven's sake, don't leave your daughter vulnerable to cancer later in life because of your fear today.

All the best,
Judith Frost, MSW
The Cancer Coach
http://www.cancer-coach.com/

Acupuncture Helps Patients with Nausea due to Chemo

2006-05-15T14:30:00.000-07:00

A newly released study indicates that acupuncture can be helpful in preventing and treating chemotherapy associated nausea and vomiting. People who have received acupuncture for many complaints know that it's a powerful treatment. But confirmation is always welcome! http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12594799/ My own experience with acupuncture has been very positive. I used it for allergies, and it was very helpful. My friend, George, got too spunky with his kyak, and wound up with bursitis in both shoulders . Ouch! He said the worst part was that he couldn't find a comfortable position for sleeping. None of the standard medicines were helping him at all, but after six sessions of acupuncture, his shoulders were back to normal. I found that very impressive!

Then a number of years ago, I worked with a group that delivered alternative treatments to people with HIV. Acupuncture significantly reduced their nausea and discomfort from their HIV medicines, which often give people nausea and diarrhea. So it didn't surprise me to see this study today. What bothers me it that the Chinese have six or eight thousand years of experience with this treatment. We buy airplane parts from China, and a lot of sensitive medical equipment as well. We trust them with all that, and much more, but not their experience with acupuncture (including doing surgery with acupuncture as the only anesthetic) . I often think of our medical system as arrogant, and this is one reason why.

No treatment, of course, is 100% effective, but acupuncture has a good record when it's done by a skilled practitioner. I hope that results like these, and several that I'm sure will follow, will increase public awareness and confidence in acupuncture. It's a useful tool in our quest to feel better.

All the best,

Judith Frost, MSW
The Cancer Coach
http://www.cancer-coach.com/

Manage Anxiety During Cancer Diagnosis Process

2006-05-08T15:26:00.000-07:00

This Part 2 has more recommendations for you to use to manage the anxiety you feel at getting and confirming a cancer diagnosis. Pick a couple that seem doable to you and gradually add more. Anxiety, depression and frustration can be managed using these skills, and at the same time, help you develop the skills that will make your cancer treatment much easier.

1. don't wait to start working with a coach or cancer-savvy therapist. It's really important to be in the best emotional condition you can as early as you can. A good coach can help you avoid the many pitfalls ahead, and learn how to use your mind and emotions to maximize the effect of any treatment you will have. You can also learn to minimize side effects. For example, you can learn simple strategies to help you heal from surgery faster with fewer complications. If you're going to have chemo, guided imagery has been shown to be extremely effective in reducing or even eliminating cancer treatment associated nausea. Learn these things now to reduce your anxiety and increase your confidence even before you go into cancer treatment. Don't wait to find a coach or therapist until you are miserable. This is just common sense!

2. Prepare yourself for cancer treatment by improving your physical condition. Hire a personal trainer (or visit your local Y) to strengthen your body. Find a cancer-savvy dietitian to help you manage your diet. Small changes mean a lot, you don't have to go vegan or macrobiotic to get a head start on your recovery.

3. Write in a journal, on-line or on paper, for at least 15 minutes a day. Describe your emotions as you face having cancer and treatment: fear, anger, sadness or whatever comes up for you. Experiment with doing this at night if you can't sleep, and at other times of the day to see when you get the most relief. Studies have shown personal writing to be very effective in reducing stress and anxiety.

4. Don't try to just ignore the anxiety. It will pop up at the least appropriate times. Think of a two-year-old trying to get your attention. She will just escalate, getting louder and louder until you give her your attention. Allow yourself to feel the fear, anger, or sadness and breathe into it. Take time to simply breathe into it, breathing in calm and breathing out anxiety.

5. Start learning this new vocabulary. The American Cancer Society website (http://www.cancer.org/ ) has a glossary, as do many of the other cancer websites. When you understand the language, you won't feel so lost and confused. So take the time now to learn the vocabulary, and ask your partner and supporters to do the same.

6. Learn about cancer in general and the specific type of cancer you may have. Learn about what potential treatment strategies may be. Identify the National Cancer Institute-approved cancer centers closest to you ( http://www.nci.org/ ). You may need to do this in small doses, but taking this action helps most people feel like they have more power in deciding what to do.

Using these strategies will greatly increase your sense of being in charge. And there's no better recipe for relieving anxiety than being in charge.

All the best,
Judith Frost, The Cancer Coach

http://www.cancer-coach.com

Diagnosis Anxiety: Diagnosing Cancer

2006-05-08T11:03:00.000-07:00

Diagnosis Anxiety
The process of making an accurate cancer diagnosis can be one of the scariest, most frustrating parts of the entire cancer experience. The diagnostic process for cancer puts people into a constantly shifting state of limbo, sometimes even for weeks. You go from office to office, seeing all kinds of specialists, being poked, prodded, dyed, stuck, claustrophobized and squeezed. At each point you hope to get some definitive word about what's wrong, but they just send you for another test!

Experiencing the "Diagnostic Hedge"
You wait anxiously for results that you hope are going to give you a real diagnosis, only to run up against the radiologists' and pathologists' favorite plant - the hedge! "This is what it looks like," the report reads, "but maybe it's this other thing. Or not." It's enough to make you want to scream! Each test you have is designed to help determine how big or small a problem you actually have, and often people hang on every word of the report. When you get to the conclusion and read "can't completely rule out the possibility..." or some other hedge, your anxiety just increases

When it comes to cancer diagnosis, patients tend to be black and white thinkers. It either is or isn't. But diagnosing a complex disease like cancer is not black and white. Rather than instantly appearing, it's more like a Polaroid picture that is slowly developing. Each poke, prod and test adds one more vital piece to the developing clinical picture which identifies the type, stage and grade of the cancer. Rather than giving a definitive answer about what it is, it may rule out something and point to other possibilities. Getting this accurate and clear picture is critical for determining your best treatment options. But it's an emotionally, as well as physically, trying period for you.

Overcoming "Diagnosis Anxiety"
When you feel overwhelmed, or fear seems to be taking over, it's really useful to make a plan and take action. Here are some tips for dealing with "diagnosis anxiety":

1. Begin to recruit your support team. Don't even think about trying to do this alone, or just with your spouse. Start asking people you trust to do certain "jobs" on your support team. You will want someone to help do research, someone to go with you to all your appointments, another person to field telephone calls. You should also begin to line up professional help as well, i.e., a coach or cancer-savvy therapist, a massage therapist, acupuncturist, even a dietician to help you adjust your diet. This early intervention will pay great dividends as you go forward.

2. Resist terriblizing. This happens when you let your thoughts run wild about cancer and treatment. "What if" thoughts and obsessing about the future are not healthy, or helpful, for you. Bring yourself back to this day, this moment when you find yourself worrying about what might happen. Breathe through the fear and anchor yourself to today.

3. Remember what has worked for you in the past. Think about how you have coped with disturbing situations in the past, and write down the skills you used to help yourself through them. They may well work again for you during cancer diagnosis and treatment.

4. Adjust your expectations. Don't try to figure out what each result means or doesn't mean. Remind yourself that this is one piece of an emerging picture of your cancer diagnosis, and it's too soon to know anything.

5. Get two big three-ring binders and packs of dividers. Get paper copies of every diagnostic test, study and consultation report to put in one binder. Then put all your insurance receipts (EOBs) and bills in the other organized by date.

...to be continued

All the best,

Judith Frost
http://www.cancer-coach.com

Take Your Time Choosing Cancer Treatment, Part 1

2006-04-28T16:38:00.000-07:00

Everyday people will experience the shock of being diagnosed with cancer. Some people say it's like a punch in the stomach that leaves you gasping for air. Others just go numb and feel nothing. People often describe the experience of seeing the doctor speaking, but literally not hearing a word she says. Often people just do what the doctor says, newly and have the surgery or other treatment she advises.

Getting a diagnosis of cancer is one of the most frightening events that can happen in any person’s life. You are immediately plunged into shock, and normal thinking ability is frozen. For most people, this feels like the ultimate emergency. For a very few people, it really is an emergency, and must be treated as quickly as possible. But most folks, about 97% according to the American Cancer Society, have at least one week, up to several weeks in which to gather their information and make their decisions.

Just Get This Out of Me!

That's often people's reaction to hearing that they have cancer. They know intuitively that they need surgery immediately. But this is one place where intuition fails you. The number one reason you should not rush into treatment of any kind is that you need to get your feet back on the ground, and your brain functioning again. You need to process this huge shock, going from healthy to having a life-threatening illness in a flash. Most people who hear "cancer" are sure they’re going to die, painfully and soon. Few people can even think at all, much less think clearly. It’s simply not a time to make life-altering decisions.

Most people don’t have a clue as to how the medical system really works until after they've been diagnosed with a serious illness. You want to believe that the system works reasonably efficiently and effectively, at least most of the time, to help people. You want to believe that, because your doctor is caring and competent, he will know the best treatment for your disease. Finding yourself in a strange and threatening land, you take the path of least resistance and hope for the best. Unfortunately, you don't learn that these are fantasies until after you've become a more seasoned veteran of our difficult-to-navigate medical system.

There's a lot of learning to do before you make any decisions about treatment. The first step is to take the time to regain your equilibrium. The second is to start learning what the questions are that you need the answers to, and where to look. Resist the temptation to plunge ahead. In cancer, almost more than any other disease, your very best chance of beating it is in the first round of treatment. It's critical that you get it right.

More later.

All the best,
Judith
http://www.cancer-coach.com

A Comprehensive Approach to Quality of Life with Cancer

2006-03-24T19:39:00.000-08:00

A little-noticed study was published at the beginning of March about improving the quality of life of people with cancer. In the Journal of Clinical Oncology, Dr. Teresa Rummans of the Mayo Clinic College of Medicine, described a study which addressed quality of life in patients with advanced cancer undergoing radiation therapy. One group received standard medical care. Their quality of life scores dropped by 9% during the eight week study, while those who received the intervention increased by 3 points. That may not seem like a lot, but when you're dealing with advanced cancer, increasing your quality of life by 11% is a big deal!

The intervention addressed lifestyle (appropriate exercise and nutrition), stress management training, assertiveness skills, coping skills and goal setting. It even dealt with spiritual issues like religious beliefs and feelings of guilt, loss and hope. The researchers encouraged patients to process their feelings in the social group and in a journal.

A whole person approach. What a concept! I'm surprised that the study addressed spiritual issues along with the physical and emotional. A lot of medical professionals shy away from this vital aspect of healing. But if you ignore the person's most deeply held beliefs, he is less able to make real progress in other areas of life, like relationships and lifestyle changes. I was glad to see it as part of the study.

The most significant reason that these interventions helped people, in my opinion, is that they returned a measure of control back to the cancer patients. People did not have to hide their strong feelings or their beliefs. They could bring them out and share them safely. They learned skills by which they could deal better with the out-of-control events in their lives. They learned assertiveness skills so they could say "no" to things they didn't want and ask for what they did want.

Cancer and treatment rob people of that most basic human dignity, a sense of being in charge of your own destiny. No one can truly control the events in his/her life. Wars, floods, hurricanes, cancer...They just happen to us. Learning the skills that allow you to bring that sense of being in charge of yourself back, makes a big difference in how well you cope with those events. It's long been known that it's not really what happens to an individual that matters. It's what she does with it. It's what you believe about it. Working through the emotions, and learning how to take back your power is huge. Then we can talk about quality of life.

Something that would have made the study more interesting would have been to add skills that help people look at the future with positive expectations. This is not to be confused with a "positive attitude", that's for a different day. The authors thought the benefit of the training was worth the $2000 price tag, even with the "patients' limited lifespans". (I suppose it would be self-serving to say that working with a coach is about half that amount.)

The important point is that the doctors unfortunately believed their predictions about their patients' "limited lifespans". They shouldn't. Even with advanced cancer, people sometimes recover. Others outlive their prognosis, even by years. Helping people address their goals and dreams in a right here, right now way is critical to helping them outlive their prognosis and achieve a better quality of life. Outliving the doctor's prognosis, by the way, is one of my favorite goals!

When you see people, don't think in terms of prognosis or probable life span. See the contributions they might make with the life that's left. When a person is really focused on their contribution to their community or the world, the disease has a harder time stopping them. I'm not saying it's some kind of miracle cure. No. But it's a real edge, small but real.

Being focused on your potential contribution to the world is an even bigger edge in terms of quality of life. When you are focused on doing things you love, things that matter to you, physical ills just can't slow you down as easily. That's a study I would love to see done! Learning about and implementing positive expectations. I believe the results would be nothing short of astonishing.

All the best,
Judith
http://www.cancer-coach.com/

Cancer Test Recommendations Revised!

2006-03-24T18:00:00.000-08:00

It's about time this recommendation is being made! Everyone in this business knows that any cancer can spread to the brain, but especially breast, lung, kidney, colon cancers and melanoma. For years I've encouraged my clients with those cancers, to request an MRI of the brain no matter what stage their disease. Sometimes their docs said, "good idea," and ordered it. But too often their doctors would turn them down flat, saying it's "alarmist" and not "medically necessary". Some patients continued to insist on the scan, and a few of those were rewarded with finding brain metastesis early, when it's most treatable. The doctors involved said it was a lucky break.

This article ( "Doctors Push to Find Brain Cancer Earlier" MSNBc.com) cites 150,000 cases of metastatic brain tumors, most of which were found when symptoms occurred, not with screening. One-third of breast cancer patients will experience brain metastesis, but, according to the article, it's not routinely screened for in most institutions or by most oncologists.

This is yet another example of why patients need to be active in researching the characteristics of their disease, and active partners in their care. If you have breast cancer and you discover how often it spreads to the brain, you would be much more likely to have this discussion with your doctor and direct him to schedule testing for it. The information on where different types of cancers typically spread is on the ACS and NCI websites, along with many others. It's critical information for patients to have, and to act on.

Despite the new recommendation from the American College of Neurology, it will take a long time for it to be put into routine practice in many institutions. Until then, if you're a cancer patient or survivor, print this article and take it to your doctor. Insist that he/she schedule an MRI (CT isn't sensitive enough to pick up early lesions) as soon as possible, and make it part of your routine follow up. It could save your life!

All the best,
Judith
http://www.cancer-coach.com/

Welcome to Crab Fight!

2006-03-24T17:32:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Crab Fight! My thoughts on fighting cancer. As the Cancer Coach, I see the suffering that cancer brings into families, knowing that their ignorance about cancer, doctors, treatment and so on is a serious block to their recovery and long-term survival. So many people put their faith and their lives into the hands of one well-meaning but sometimes less informed, doctor. Or nurse practitioner. Or PA. Few people know how to mount a serious challenge to this disease, or any other for that matter. More than eve today, knowledge is the power that can restore your health.

Why Crab Fight? It's the Zodiac thing. I know very little about the Zodiac, but I know cancer is the crab. Thus, the name.

Sometimes when I say I’m The Cancer Coach, people step back, draw away, as if they might catch this plague from me. People equate cancer with death, and automatically think I’m a Hospice counselor. Then I say "I don’t help people die. I help them live, live better and even longer lives!" They’re surprised. This is a new idea! "You’re a saint! Bless you for doing this work" they say as they edge away. Balderdash! I love what I do because I get to watch people go from frightened victims to confident survivors, taking on their lives with gusto. So much for sainthood!

My job is made necessary by the fragmentation and profit orientation of our medical system. Doctors, even specialists, are so busy seeing their managed-care-mandated patient quotas that they often can’t keep up with the burgeoning volume of medical information. Providers are caught in the squeeze and end up making compromises they may not even by consciously aware of. Drug company reps provide carefully slanted information that passes for medical education. Hospitals take a dim view of physicians who routinely refer patients out of their axis to the doctors and services that would help them the most. Chemotherapy and radiation oncology have become major profit producers which influences, if not determines, the treatment doctors recommend.

Most of the doctors and health care providers I know are good people, trying their level best to help their patients. And they are successful much of the time. Look at the new statistics that show, for the first time in 70 years, deaths from cancer declined in 2003. Not by much, but every one of one of those 370 people who survived are really glad about it. Of course, the drop in smoking may have helped a little. But the process is so fragmented and frightening that people are often emotionally as well as physically scarred. As a medical system we could be so much more effective against cancer, or any other disease, if we could create some roadmaps for people, if we could earnestly look at what and where the really best treatment is for them, instead of doing the knee-jerk treatment that's given at your hospital.

So that’s what my blog is about. My thoughts, frustrations, victories and everyday observations about cancer, patients and the medical universe that’s supposed to treat them. I hope you’ll look in from time to time and engage in some discussion. If I’m off base, tell me. If I’m right on, support me. For what it’s worth, let’s start.