Who me? Cause My Cancer?

If you’re not living in a hole, you’ve heard about The Secret, a book and movie that has been sweeping the country. The contributors were even on Oprah, getting her enthusiastic approval. The book is based on the “Law of Attraction” which, in a nutshell, says that if it’s in your life, you brought it here. That includes cancer. Sorry Oprah, you blew it this time.

Did you cause your cancer? Read Louise Hay, she says so. She offers no proof but her profound understanding of how the world works, but she’s absolutely certain. She has a large band of followers that totally agree with her. Certainly The Secret folks would agree with her. Actually I wish it were that easy. If you can think it in, you can think it out. The ovarian cancer my doctors were certain was there was not cancer when the surgery was done. Does that mean I thought it in and out? Maybe, but maybe not. How could I be certain either way/

This approach can be ok if you can take the possibility in and use it to change how you look at things and how you do your relationships. Whether you believe in The Secret or not, you’re probably doing this anyway. But what if what you need to learn is to be more accessible to your own feelings like anger, fear and sadness? The only way to do feelings is to do them first hand, not through someone else or from afar. That means that, for at least a while, you dwell in those feelings. Will that make the cancer spread because what you think you get more of?

Balderdash! The true recipe for disaster is stuffing your feelings and pretending they don’t exist. Then you have to distract yourself from what’s real in your life through eating dysfunctionally, workaholism, drugs and alcohol, road rage.

Last week I was counseling with yet another person who was terrified that she was spreading her cancer because she couldn’t help being afraid. The Secret folks may be helping a few people, god knows they’re raking in the dough, but they are doing a tremendous disservice to people like the client above. One thing people with cancer don’t need is something else to be worried and ashamed about!

All the best,

Judith Frost, MSW
www.cancer-coach.com

Post Traumatic Stress in Cancer Part II Tips

Remember, you're not crazy when you experience Post Traumatic Stress from having cancer or cancer treatment, any more than you are if you experience PTSD from rape or war trauma. You're experiencing an normal response to an abnormal event.

Seven tips to help you feel better:

1. Engage all of your senses in anchoring you in the here and now. Play your favorite music, get a regular massage, get out in the sunshine. Seek safe physical contact such as hugs and hand holding. Create a self-talk routine in which you talk to yourself with gentle reassurance that you are safe today.

2. Walk, run, play tennis or go to the gym. Exercise releases endorphins (the feel good chemicals) in your body. It also increases the flow of oxygen throughout your body, which increase your sense of well-being and control.

3. Eat well, keep your body well hydrated. Take time to breathe deeply and center, reminding yourself of today’s date and where you are.

4. Limit the amount of violent TV you watch, or violent video games you play. These things amp you up with the same kinds of chemicals that flowed during the trauma. The idea is to process those chemicals, not add more to them.

5. Avoid alcohol and illegal drugs. While it may feel like they soothe you, they will disturb the processing the brain does during sleep. If you need help sleeping, practice sound sleep hygiene techniques or some energy techniques to help you get good rest, or talk to your physician.

5. Keep a gratitude journal, especially at night before you go to bed, and in the morning before you start your day. Write down at least three things you’re grateful for that day and why. Focus on these things for a few minutes before you go to sleep or start your day.

6. Be active rather than doing the couch potato thing. Even if you don’t feel like you have the energy, get up and do something constructive that takes action in a positive direction. Even small things will move you forward.

7. Learn some easy Energy Psychology techniques, like EFT, to soothe the anxiety and calm your body. Seek the help of an Energy Therapist or trusted friend to help you if you need.

Remember, what you’re experiencing is a normal response to an abnormal event.

All the best,
Judith frost, MSW
www.cancer-coach.com

Post Traumatic Stress in Cancer

People experiencing Post Traumatic Stress due to one or more traumatic events, like having cancer, often feel like they’re crazy or weak because they “can’t get over it.” What we now know about trauma is that it’s less an emotional reaction than it is a physical one, even though its biggest symptoms are panic, anxiety and depression. What happens during the traumatic even is that all the systems in your body went into fight, flight or freeze mode, and your body and brain released a huge number of chemicals to help you be more alert and survive.

Sometimes, though, those chemicals interfere with the normal processing of events that the brain generally does on a daily basis. So the traumatic event doesn’t go to the back of your mind like the time you stubbed your toe did. The traumatic events stay “stuck” in the front of your brain, causing you to relive the images, smells, sounds that happened during the event. Anything can trigger that reliving, and panic attacks, even anger and rage attacks may happen as a result. The body and brain believe that you are actually living through it all over again and you’re not safe anywhere.

What we now know is that you were and are acting normally in response to an abnormal event. The events of war, rape, assault and other traumas are not normal events, but your brain and body responded in a totally normal way to protect you, but that now the events are frozen in your immediate recall memory. Post Traumatic Stress is a normal chemical and physical response to abnormal events.

Research shows that Post Traumatic Stress will slowly resolve for most people (as many as 85%) over time. In other cases, especially if you experienced physical injury as a result of the trauma, you may need professional help to recover fully.

Next time I'll give you some tips for dealing with Post Traumatic Stress.

All the best,
Judith Frost, MSW
www.cancer-coach.com