Fighting Cancer with a Non-Positive Attitude!

The insistence that a positive attitude is critical to “beating” cancer is a form of terrorism against people who are fighting for their lives. Somehow our society believes that getting a diagnosis of cancer should turn you from an average state of mood, or less than average mood, into being a constant cheerleader! “I got cancer! Ra Ra Ra!” If you don’t display this constant blissful state, you’ve got a poor attitude, you’re not fighting the cancer well enough, and you’re probably gonna die. What bunk!

It’s almost universal that getting a diagnosis of cancer (or any other dreaded disease) causes people to get real about their lives in a big hurry. And being real involves having access to a full range of human emotions, not covering them up. Emotions are our natural friends, not our enemies. Yet uncomfortable emotions like fear, anger, grief, sadness are seen in our culture as “feeling sorry for yourself”, or “on the pitty pot” and need to be covered over.

People who courageously display emotions are criticized by friends and family members as being “overly emotional” or “negative”. People who quell those natural feelings to show only their stoic side are commended for their courage. Nobody commends you for your courage when you feel like a lump of Jell-O in the hot sun! Yet each can be a true expression of how you’re genuinely feeling in the moment, and as such, is an act of courage.

The “positive attitude” tyranny is almost a national obsession! I believe it comes from two places. First, there is a fundamental misunderstanding of what constitutes a true positive attitude, and how one achieves it. The second is our national intolerance of emotional expression.

I'll address these twin problems in future postings. For now, just know that it’s helpful, not harmful, to be an authentic, real living person, even with cancer.

All the best,
Judith Frost, MSW
The Cancer Coach
http://www.cancer-coach.com

Fighting Cervical Cancer with a Vaccine!

How incredibly agonizing it will be for young women who contract cervical or vulvar cancers in the future to know that their parents refused to vaccinate them at a young age because it might cause them to have sex! For people fighting cancer today, the mere thought that a vaccine given in their youth could have saved them this agony, is incredible!

Fighting cancer through a vaccine should not be subject to politics! But, after all, it's been proven that wearing a bicycle helmet causes kids to be more likely to deliberately crash their bikes, right? Insisting that they wear seat belts when learning to drive increases reckless driving behavior, right? We hear a lot about a "culture of life", but it seems to only apply in certain specified situations apparently. A true culture of life would be more concerned about about taking preventive steps to avoid disease, suffering and death, than "sending the wrong message."

The occasion of being vaccinated against cervical cancer can be used by an intelligent, caring parent to have a practical discussion on teenage sex. It can be an opportunity to teach your child the values you cherish. Studies show that the greatest deterrents to a teenager becoming sexually active are two. It's fear of pregnancy and the influence of parents. The fear of getting an STD isn't even on the high end of the list. So being vaccinated against the virus that causes cervical cancer won't affect them one way or another.

For heaven's sake, don't leave your daughter vulnerable to cancer later in life because of your fear today.

All the best,
Judith Frost, MSW
The Cancer Coach
http://www.cancer-coach.com/

Acupuncture Helps Patients with Nausea due to Chemo

A newly released study indicates that acupuncture can be helpful in preventing and treating chemotherapy associated nausea and vomiting. People who have received acupuncture for many complaints know that it's a powerful treatment. But confirmation is always welcome! http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12594799/ My own experience with acupuncture has been very positive. I used it for allergies, and it was very helpful. My friend, George, got too spunky with his kyak, and wound up with bursitis in both shoulders . Ouch! He said the worst part was that he couldn't find a comfortable position for sleeping. None of the standard medicines were helping him at all, but after six sessions of acupuncture, his shoulders were back to normal. I found that very impressive!

Then a number of years ago, I worked with a group that delivered alternative treatments to people with HIV. Acupuncture significantly reduced their nausea and discomfort from their HIV medicines, which often give people nausea and diarrhea. So it didn't surprise me to see this study today. What bothers me it that the Chinese have six or eight thousand years of experience with this treatment. We buy airplane parts from China, and a lot of sensitive medical equipment as well. We trust them with all that, and much more, but not their experience with acupuncture (including doing surgery with acupuncture as the only anesthetic) . I often think of our medical system as arrogant, and this is one reason why.

No treatment, of course, is 100% effective, but acupuncture has a good record when it's done by a skilled practitioner. I hope that results like these, and several that I'm sure will follow, will increase public awareness and confidence in acupuncture. It's a useful tool in our quest to feel better.

All the best,

Judith Frost, MSW
The Cancer Coach
http://www.cancer-coach.com/

Manage Anxiety During Cancer Diagnosis Process

This Part 2 has more recommendations for you to use to manage the anxiety you feel at getting and confirming a cancer diagnosis. Pick a couple that seem doable to you and gradually add more. Anxiety, depression and frustration can be managed using these skills, and at the same time, help you develop the skills that will make your cancer treatment much easier.

1. don't wait to start working with a coach or cancer-savvy therapist. It's really important to be in the best emotional condition you can as early as you can. A good coach can help you avoid the many pitfalls ahead, and learn how to use your mind and emotions to maximize the effect of any treatment you will have. You can also learn to minimize side effects. For example, you can learn simple strategies to help you heal from surgery faster with fewer complications. If you're going to have chemo, guided imagery has been shown to be extremely effective in reducing or even eliminating cancer treatment associated nausea. Learn these things now to reduce your anxiety and increase your confidence even before you go into cancer treatment. Don't wait to find a coach or therapist until you are miserable. This is just common sense!

2. Prepare yourself for cancer treatment by improving your physical condition. Hire a personal trainer (or visit your local Y) to strengthen your body. Find a cancer-savvy dietitian to help you manage your diet. Small changes mean a lot, you don't have to go vegan or macrobiotic to get a head start on your recovery.

3. Write in a journal, on-line or on paper, for at least 15 minutes a day. Describe your emotions as you face having cancer and treatment: fear, anger, sadness or whatever comes up for you. Experiment with doing this at night if you can't sleep, and at other times of the day to see when you get the most relief. Studies have shown personal writing to be very effective in reducing stress and anxiety.

4. Don't try to just ignore the anxiety. It will pop up at the least appropriate times. Think of a two-year-old trying to get your attention. She will just escalate, getting louder and louder until you give her your attention. Allow yourself to feel the fear, anger, or sadness and breathe into it. Take time to simply breathe into it, breathing in calm and breathing out anxiety.

5. Start learning this new vocabulary. The American Cancer Society website (http://www.cancer.org/ ) has a glossary, as do many of the other cancer websites. When you understand the language, you won't feel so lost and confused. So take the time now to learn the vocabulary, and ask your partner and supporters to do the same.

6. Learn about cancer in general and the specific type of cancer you may have. Learn about what potential treatment strategies may be. Identify the National Cancer Institute-approved cancer centers closest to you ( http://www.nci.org/ ). You may need to do this in small doses, but taking this action helps most people feel like they have more power in deciding what to do.

Using these strategies will greatly increase your sense of being in charge. And there's no better recipe for relieving anxiety than being in charge.

All the best,
Judith Frost, The Cancer Coach

http://www.cancer-coach.com

Diagnosis Anxiety: Diagnosing Cancer

Diagnosis Anxiety
The process of making an accurate cancer diagnosis can be one of the scariest, most frustrating parts of the entire cancer experience. The diagnostic process for cancer puts people into a constantly shifting state of limbo, sometimes even for weeks. You go from office to office, seeing all kinds of specialists, being poked, prodded, dyed, stuck, claustrophobized and squeezed. At each point you hope to get some definitive word about what's wrong, but they just send you for another test!

Experiencing the "Diagnostic Hedge"
You wait anxiously for results that you hope are going to give you a real diagnosis, only to run up against the radiologists' and pathologists' favorite plant - the hedge! "This is what it looks like," the report reads, "but maybe it's this other thing. Or not." It's enough to make you want to scream! Each test you have is designed to help determine how big or small a problem you actually have, and often people hang on every word of the report. When you get to the conclusion and read "can't completely rule out the possibility..." or some other hedge, your anxiety just increases

When it comes to cancer diagnosis, patients tend to be black and white thinkers. It either is or isn't. But diagnosing a complex disease like cancer is not black and white. Rather than instantly appearing, it's more like a Polaroid picture that is slowly developing. Each poke, prod and test adds one more vital piece to the developing clinical picture which identifies the type, stage and grade of the cancer. Rather than giving a definitive answer about what it is, it may rule out something and point to other possibilities. Getting this accurate and clear picture is critical for determining your best treatment options. But it's an emotionally, as well as physically, trying period for you.

Overcoming "Diagnosis Anxiety"
When you feel overwhelmed, or fear seems to be taking over, it's really useful to make a plan and take action. Here are some tips for dealing with "diagnosis anxiety":

1. Begin to recruit your support team. Don't even think about trying to do this alone, or just with your spouse. Start asking people you trust to do certain "jobs" on your support team. You will want someone to help do research, someone to go with you to all your appointments, another person to field telephone calls. You should also begin to line up professional help as well, i.e., a coach or cancer-savvy therapist, a massage therapist, acupuncturist, even a dietician to help you adjust your diet. This early intervention will pay great dividends as you go forward.

2. Resist terriblizing. This happens when you let your thoughts run wild about cancer and treatment. "What if" thoughts and obsessing about the future are not healthy, or helpful, for you. Bring yourself back to this day, this moment when you find yourself worrying about what might happen. Breathe through the fear and anchor yourself to today.

3. Remember what has worked for you in the past. Think about how you have coped with disturbing situations in the past, and write down the skills you used to help yourself through them. They may well work again for you during cancer diagnosis and treatment.

4. Adjust your expectations. Don't try to figure out what each result means or doesn't mean. Remind yourself that this is one piece of an emerging picture of your cancer diagnosis, and it's too soon to know anything.

5. Get two big three-ring binders and packs of dividers. Get paper copies of every diagnostic test, study and consultation report to put in one binder. Then put all your insurance receipts (EOBs) and bills in the other organized by date.

...to be continued

All the best,

Judith Frost
http://www.cancer-coach.com